I saw someone today at Ballet School, she came in to enquire and I recognize her. She's one of my school mate and band mate in secondary school. But.... what hell am I doing... I can't recall her name. At all!
Hahas.. But I remember that she's a friend on my FB, well.. It took me awhile to recall her FB name too. But still, can't recall her name - her real name, Chinese name, ID name, whatever~~
Two thoughts came to my mind after this incident.
1. I really need ginkgo pills
2. She looks 'meater' as compared to the past, that makes me feel not that bad about myself. Oops... Sorry, my bad~
Oh, I remembered something else. She like one of my friend last time, a friend who visit this blog too! hurhurhurs
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
22 April 2013, 10.30pm
Nobody said that it's gonna be easy, and we know it very well. Many a time, we simply shrug off the message and give up.
You never know what the outcome is if you never try; if you never started or even if you never persist on.
Life is a journey, you simply have to go through all the test and obstacle. Imagine standing at the end of the journey, looking back at your life. Everything will just be the past.
You never know what the outcome is if you never try; if you never started or even if you never persist on.
Life is a journey, you simply have to go through all the test and obstacle. Imagine standing at the end of the journey, looking back at your life. Everything will just be the past.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
21 April 2013, 9pm - Happy Birthday
Dear Diary~ Time seems to fly by and I've lost track of it. Only today when I'm working, writing receipts, then I realise it's 21 April. Happy birthday to my once-a-darling.
I'm still feeding myself with poison I guess. Since I'm still browsing through his Facebook every now and then. He seems happy, he has got a LV wallet with his name carve on it given by his wife. It has always been a thought that I should never had been with him. In the past and now. He's much happier and luckier when he's with her. He doesn't have such a luxury when he's with me and not even to say to have someone who dote on him as much. Especially when he needs to coax and dote on me instead. I'm someone who aim higher, demands for more, I bet it has been tough on him when he's with me.
Simplicity is the way of life.
I'm a complex person and even worse after what I've put myself through in this past 2 years. Simplicity is never my life anymore although I am very much trying to tune to it.
Hazel, look forward and don't ask for much. You didn't do enough to get the returns.
I'm still feeding myself with poison I guess. Since I'm still browsing through his Facebook every now and then. He seems happy, he has got a LV wallet with his name carve on it given by his wife. It has always been a thought that I should never had been with him. In the past and now. He's much happier and luckier when he's with her. He doesn't have such a luxury when he's with me and not even to say to have someone who dote on him as much. Especially when he needs to coax and dote on me instead. I'm someone who aim higher, demands for more, I bet it has been tough on him when he's with me.
Simplicity is the way of life.
I'm a complex person and even worse after what I've put myself through in this past 2 years. Simplicity is never my life anymore although I am very much trying to tune to it.
Hazel, look forward and don't ask for much. You didn't do enough to get the returns.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
The Scorpion and The Frog
I heard of a story before, the scorpion and the frog, and would relate it to my own live now. Being in a relationship is great, having the feeling of loving and being loved. Which woman don't like the idea of a fairytale? However, after a short period of sweetness, nature came to knock at the door and make me stray away.
It's so difficult to stay out of the game and I'm restricting myself as much as possible. It's hard to stick with one, so I stick to none. If you get what it means. Was this the impact from the relationship failure with ah fu? Not exactly but it probably got magnified after that. Prior to the relationship with him, I am already having a little of this nature within me. Just that I managed to stick to one during the years I'm with him.
What's wrong with me seriously? I can't find the "heart" in relationships; my own "heart". Relationship is never the same simple meaning as it has been in the past.
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A scorpion asked a frog to carry him across a river, the frog is afraid of being stung during the trip, but the scorpion argues that if it stung the frog, the frog would sink and the scorpion would drown.
The frog agrees and begins carrying the scorpion, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When asked why, the scorpion explains that this is simply its nature.
The story is used to illustrate the view that the behaviour of some creatures, or of some people, is irrepressible, no matter how they are treated and no matter what the consequences.
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It's so difficult to stay out of the game and I'm restricting myself as much as possible. It's hard to stick with one, so I stick to none. If you get what it means. Was this the impact from the relationship failure with ah fu? Not exactly but it probably got magnified after that. Prior to the relationship with him, I am already having a little of this nature within me. Just that I managed to stick to one during the years I'm with him.
What's wrong with me seriously? I can't find the "heart" in relationships; my own "heart". Relationship is never the same simple meaning as it has been in the past.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A scorpion asked a frog to carry him across a river, the frog is afraid of being stung during the trip, but the scorpion argues that if it stung the frog, the frog would sink and the scorpion would drown.
The frog agrees and begins carrying the scorpion, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When asked why, the scorpion explains that this is simply its nature.
The story is used to illustrate the view that the behaviour of some creatures, or of some people, is irrepressible, no matter how they are treated and no matter what the consequences.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, April 14, 2013
14 April 2013, 8.30pm
How long has I not been blogging?! 1 & a half month!!
Oh gosh, I'm missing out some details here!
Referring to my last 2 posts, yes, I was emo because I found out that ah fu has gotten married, and to the very girl. Guess I have stepped into their fate, and its messed up by me.
What's the latest update in March? I went to Batam with the CSD group of Frasers. It was fun to have people gathering together. But, it kind of didn't move on too well after we come back. Only one month - March, and I have 2 guys on my back, 1 is Ryan and the other is Eric. Ryan looking for a second chance, and this Eric, nah... Not interested in him. Too negative and too much of a emo for me. With him around, I can't demonstrate my emo-ness! Cos I'll lose to him!
Things between me and Keni is stagnant. Still remain at a stage of neither friend nor relationship. Just let it hang around for awhile.
Oh, recently Bronson chat with me on FB. He had turned to financial institute instead of psychology, how intriguing is a human's mind. You have thought that it was your belonging the whole lifetime you had lived and in the end, you tried and felt that its not suitable for you. Oh god damn. Just like my relationship with accounting.
Money money money, its so funny, it's a rich man's world~~~ I'm hard up for it! I'm exhausted from all the work I'm doing! I want a rest! But all I know now is that I need to slough (yes, it's slough and not slowly) another 5 months to get all debts settled and get back to my "normal" live.
Time oh time~ I hope u can pass faster, so that my pay comes faster and I can settle my debts faster. And I'll be freed. Whether to continue the part time, will be a question for the future after that.
Oh gosh, I'm missing out some details here!
Referring to my last 2 posts, yes, I was emo because I found out that ah fu has gotten married, and to the very girl. Guess I have stepped into their fate, and its messed up by me.
What's the latest update in March? I went to Batam with the CSD group of Frasers. It was fun to have people gathering together. But, it kind of didn't move on too well after we come back. Only one month - March, and I have 2 guys on my back, 1 is Ryan and the other is Eric. Ryan looking for a second chance, and this Eric, nah... Not interested in him. Too negative and too much of a emo for me. With him around, I can't demonstrate my emo-ness! Cos I'll lose to him!
Things between me and Keni is stagnant. Still remain at a stage of neither friend nor relationship. Just let it hang around for awhile.
Oh, recently Bronson chat with me on FB. He had turned to financial institute instead of psychology, how intriguing is a human's mind. You have thought that it was your belonging the whole lifetime you had lived and in the end, you tried and felt that its not suitable for you. Oh god damn. Just like my relationship with accounting.
Money money money, its so funny, it's a rich man's world~~~ I'm hard up for it! I'm exhausted from all the work I'm doing! I want a rest! But all I know now is that I need to slough (yes, it's slough and not slowly) another 5 months to get all debts settled and get back to my "normal" live.
Time oh time~ I hope u can pass faster, so that my pay comes faster and I can settle my debts faster. And I'll be freed. Whether to continue the part time, will be a question for the future after that.
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