29 June 2013, 9.30pm

I had a fantastic drunk night yesterday. Oh.. It sounds weird, fantastic + drunk. But it's true! 

Drank to my heart's content and started blabbering the deep down thoughts in my mind. I gotta say I pity the 3 who went drinking with me yesterday and the one who stayed till the end and send me home. 

Everything's about ah fu, blabber and whine. But when I woke up this morning, I felt better because I finally speak it out and face it. I hadn't let go. The good feeling lasted till afternoon and soon the feeling of emptiness creeps in. Is it the openness that I had or was it the alcohol that give me the good feeling? Hard to decipher. 

Feeling too bored and went on tagged again, that's where I get to know Mr K. Probably it's me being sensitive but it felt like Mr K is entertaining someone else recently. So I browse through his profile and our chats previously. Well, I'm just thinking, probably I'm not the only one. And we are starting to drift. And most of all, it didn't started to be serious, as can be seen in the chats we had. I'm hitting off in Tagged again~

hazel, with love~

26 June 2013, 6.47pm

Today had came and went pass us like a dream.

TL did not turn up at work since Monday, and we received fax, phone calls and people coming to counter and office looking for him. They are the money lenders. Today being the third day, we pre-empt HR about his AWOL and the money lender. Shortly after, we received news that he had passed on. 

We were told that he died in his sleep, and other details were pretty vague. Everyone were shocked by the news. It was very very sudden.

Together with my other colleagues, we went to his wake. His siblings attended to us and told us the actual situation. His wife was devastated. His parents are still around, aged 81 and 89, it's a big blow to them. Seeing the family, especially his aged parents and his wife, weep and cry terribly, it hurts me too. It's a haunting scene. 

One foolish thought and you left your dearest family members mourning for you. Every problem can be dealt with, nothing is more important than staying alive. Leaving the problem behind and it becomes a burden to your dearest family members, what solution is that? 

His wife seems ignorant to the actual death or is she trying to avoid? We have all agreed that the truth will only stay in our heart. Why blabber about others when they are already gone and leave a scar on their beloved family. 

Cherish life and please understand that nothing is more important than being alive. Because when you thought you have ended all your sufferings, the sufferings for those who loves you just begun. 

hazel, with love~

12 June 2013, 1.30am

Sister went out last night and came home in the morning. It suddenly came to my mind that it has been some time since I went out drinking and came home in the wee hours or morning. Was it my work, or was it due to Mr K? Hmmm.. 

Half day at work and I didn't do much, totally no mood. Am in holiday mood already! 

Went to my dental appointment to have 2 wisdom teeths removed. Aww.. Actually, it didn't feel that pain and horrible. Keep getting praised by the doctor ^^ but seriously, I think the doctor needs to brush up his vocabulary. The 4 words he keep repeating - good, cool, calm and steady, to a stage that I don't feel like replying. LOL

Well, the pain was still manageable. Reasons why I can be calm during the surgery: 

1. I have gone through it once before

2. I know what's going on and I know I won't feel the pain till the anesthetic wear off

3. I trust the doctor very much that he will do a good job

There was a point where he had issues with my bottom wisdom tooth and did took a longer time to remove it. In turn, I'm the one who tell him "it's okay, take your time." I find the whole process so funny, wanted to laugh but cannot. Oh.. And I almost fell asleep! Because my eyes are blindfolded. But the nurse keep nudging me asking whether am I okay. Seriously, without the nudging, I could have slept through. 

Visited ah fu's Facebook which I had wanted to do so a few days back but controlled. 

看见了你的照片，证实了我还想你

看见了你的留言，很想亲自恭喜你

看见你的生活并没有因为我们之间的事受影响，反而过得更好，能够以你所想有的将来前进，我感到欣慰

从没有因为之前的决定后悔，但有些许难过是在所难免

当时的决定没有错，更加不会后悔。虽然曾度过一段难过的日子，但看到你现在的人生，一切都是值得的。

-•- 结束只是另一个开始 -•-

hazel, with love~

7 June 2013, 12.15am

That something important in your life is something that motivates you daily.

I suddenly had a feeling that I've lost it or I have not found one. In the past, he was the one by my side, listen to my whining, motivate me, we look forward to a future together. Much to I know that we had reached a stage that we can't advance together in tandem, we have to move on.

But I missed out a part where he was my motivation. Well, you just have to look for another goal / motivation in life. Easier said than done. It's not anyone or everyone could become that someone.

Put yourself in a position when you are trying to look for the motivation but not anyhow you will be able to find one. 

Dear Peiyun, it seems like you are looking for his shadow. He had indirectly set a standard bar in your decision making. Let him go. And again, easier said than done~

hazel, with love~

1 June 2013, 10.37am

Early morning and there's gonna be a blog post, thumbs up for the blogger app :)

Back to what happened this morning. Actually it all started since yesterday night, core team had a very last minute information that we are changing the promotion mechanic starting this morning. Well, no sufficient time to inform CSOs and retailers. Everything is on full blast this morning. Plus, there's a Super Junior concert sales starting this morning. Gonna be hectic for Customer Service Counter. 

Boss is going back to office to print out the circulars to be given out to retailers, sorry Mr R, need you to cover my job. 

Another thing on my mind, I have always wanted to get a Degree, I got to know that Frasers do subsidize course fee. It will be a 2-year bond upon completion of course. So effectively it will be a 5-year if its a 3-year course. Should I take up the opportunity? What's your take on this? 

hazel, with love~

31 May 2013, 11.59pm

Yesterday had an early night but still couldn't wake up this morning. Went through an interview today for my CSO position. This lady looks promising, lets keep our fingers crossed.

Today is the Frasers Eat With Your Family Day~ so we get to leave workplace at 5pm and I seriously went dinner with my family! Hahas

Bad dinner time, wait for everyone to be ready, we left home only at 7pm. Reach Ichiban at Jurong Point, it's another 1 hour queue. And with the long food waiting time, we finished our dinner only at 10pm. Oh my, it's as if I'm eating a French cuisine. They take a few hours to finish a dinner. 

Having headache again. Can't stand parents continuous talking since dinner, with the wait for table and food. Then at home, the clothes washing cos my maid went back to Philippines today. Zzz Time to sleep, too much for my head today. It's really aching, tomorrow is another long day. Need to join friends for a farewell after work at Ballet School.

Good nighty!

hazel, with love~