4 January 2014, 9.06pm

Wonder who's looking, maybe I myself only.

Do not know how to evaluate my mood recently. Feeling lethargic all the time and moody. Something seems to be missing, and I can't grasp what it is. Is it fun? Passion? Motivation? Stability? Attention?

Life don't feel as fun as it has been in the past. Party don't seem to be a fun thing anymore, drinking don't seem to be a great thing anymore. I would rather find somewhere serene to retreat into. Is it one of my "lie-low" period again?

With the beginning of the new year, I keep looking back to the year that has passed. On the first day of 2013, I was out having coffee overnight with Samuel, and then I fell damn sick during the start of the year. Then, before Chinese New Year, we have stopped contact. I met up with Mr K on 21 Jan 2013, we left a marking on a wall in East Coast Park on 28 Mar 2013. We had wonderful birthday celebrations and yet we didn't make it to Christmas and New Year celebrations together.

2013, a year that I send away someone very dearest to me; Also a year that I gave my best wishes for my dearest friend for her marriage. A year I got to know Max. Someone who were poisoned, got close, recovered and get done with in a short period of time.

Was 2013 an eventful year? Pretty much but not that much.

Asked Mr K a question today: "How are you with your thinking?"

His reply: "I'm not seeing anyone now. I still think of my ex. And I don't want to settle down yet because of that." and added "But, I have something for you that time. It's not playing."

My reply: "I wonder when and how did it stop and went back to your ex"

No reply till now. I have got to move forward no matter what. It's part of my 2014 Resolution anyway. Or perhaps, change it to staying single and be alone.

Let's plan for some places to head to before school starts. I think I really need a retreat... for the heart.

hazel, with love~

1 January 2014, 10.55pm

2013 has passed, a great learning year, filled with good and bad :)

Stepping into 2014, let's list down my New Year Resolution:

1. Keep to a stable eating regime to ensure my gastric will be healthy

2. Cut 4kg by August 2014

3. Get into one good relationship, and be showered with TLC ^^

4. Get good grades for studies! 

What we have done before can't be undone, but what is going to happen next, it's still not written. Let's do our best in working out a good future! 

Went partying on the last day of 2013, well, it didn't turn out as well.. A desperate guy who gets really touchy on me got into a fight with another guy who's trying to help. Awww.. Is it a good or bad thing? 

Why can't people go party together but enjoy dancing and drinking on him or herself and not stick (literally stick) to another person? 

Chit chatted with Kenny when I was drunk and I look back on the messages the next day. He mentioned this sentence "Guess you can nv part with alcohol don't you". Just having mixed feelings, can't describe. 

On this beginning of 2014, I wish that my relationship will work it's way out and get to find someone good ^^ 

hazel, with love~