10 August 2014, 10.50pm

It's Sunday!

One day after National Day, Happy Birthday Singapore! And next week shall be celebration of Samantha's birthday.

I have been rather negative and unhappy some time back (recently). Because of money, stress and some emotional problems. Sista and mum highlighted it and I never deny. Was really feeling down for days. When asked the reasons, I just briefly say because of stress and something else that requires my own wisdom to seek relief.

I talk to God and ask of his wisdom for relief, that's the most I can do and I'll leave the rest to him. Having faith in him that everything is written and sadness will be over. Always the case and I thank him for listening and providing me with the wisdom.

About the unhappiness, I have asked myself, so now that September is coming, I believe you will lead a good life from now onward, because the road you paved are settling. Nothing shall upset your plan. Although I missed you very much but I'm responsible for my own happiness. It's painful but I know it always take awhile. Thank you my dear friends who have always been there for me, and the time has come for the knot to be untied. Not that I do not listen but those who have been through knows that it takes time to forget someone. I hope this positivity will stay with me for good. Lastly, I ask of God, to give him enough protection and wisdom to appreciate life, family and hopefully he can let go of his negativity. May you have a happy simple family. :)

Shall learn a trick or two from Kristyn and here goes the images to sum up:

I'm responsible for my own happiness :))

National Day gathering at VY's house

9 August 2014

Cheers to all!

Jeanie and Madelyne's babies!

Best picture of the day

Two babies looking at each other LOL!

Oh by the way, I believe the tension between Ken and I were caused by my negative emotional state. With the relief I sought now, I felt less tension and stress when I'm with him. Or maybe, I'm getting used to his way of doing things, and become less "needy", as described by him.

 We had a little "talk" about him not appreciating me because he can don't contact me over the whole weekend last week. This week, it was almost the same, just that I had my plans on Saturday and Sunday, although without much communication too, I don't feel that unhappy. It doesn't felt like a relationship that you misses each other a lot. Is this normal? We shall just see how things progress. No one can forsee the future, let's just move along and see things unfold.

16 July 2014

Ken has shown effort. Many calls and a bouquet. And we are back together. One more warning is that if there is a next break up initiated either by him or myself, it will be final.

15 July 2014, 6.05pm

Today hasn't been a good day, early morning had a quarrel with youngest sister. It's a very small issue but I couldn't stand her attitude.

Been thinking long and hard about things between Ken and I, and I thrash things out today. After much arguments, he call it quit. Less than 3 months and this is it. I find him immature and couldn't provide me with security and stability, he felt that I'm just talking about money with him. Which I had repeatedly mentioned that it's not. 

Was it him that is immature or am I too self conceited and self centered? 

I cried a little but soon pulled myself together for the SPH trade event. Have I grown stronger? Definitely much stronger than before. Maybe the bond between us are seriously not strong, it is very vulnerable. A simple thrashing things out and arguments can crash the whole thing. 

May god bless us with happiness and wisdom. 

hazel soh

10 June 2014, 1pm

Look at the time lapse here. Many things have been happening since the last post and I shall not elaborate much. Have started writing diaries instead but I shall just update here too for my friends. LOL

It has been a wonderful trip with Ken over the weekends.

Things could be really simple if I'm not that complicated. We were sweet and happy, and he had asked the question but I didn't answer to it. Because my heart still has a space for Samuel. I know this is not fair to Ken, but I'm so sorry that I still did it. 

Have not been hearing from Samuel and has been looking at his Facebook. He didn't post much other than the usual work and commercial stuffs. So our matter didn't affect him? Got linked up to his galfriend's Facebook and saw their pictures together. The moments really eats me up.. Tears started welling up. It's a pretty bad feeling. Maybe I can guess the outcome even though he doesn't disclose it. Remember once he said, if there's really a next lifetime, he will want to be with me. So perhaps, it's not our time yet. 

Well oh well, let's 收拾心情 and wait and see what God has in line for us in his story. In the meanwhile, some pictures to sum up the recent batam trip.