Rohani is hospitalized today when Moma is on leave, so I'm the only one who man the counter. Zzz tiring, full day till about 9pm. But I got to hands-on on the redemption and SISTIC system :D
Eye swollen now, gotta go sleep now. Nighty!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
30 May 2013, 11.28pm
My mood is kind of affected by my dream yesterday night. The memory of it is kind of vague now but I remember dreaming about confronting my inner feelings, the feeling of losing ah fu. I remembered crying real badly, it really hurts.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
22 May 2013, 7.30pm
Dear Diary~
It's nearing the end of May and here I am again. This month started off with an unfortunate event and sadness was brought upon our family - The demise of our Grandmother. 3 weeks has passed and it seems like life has went back on track, yet yesterday, at the praying to my Grandmother for her third seven-days, I felt an immense sadness when praying. Looking at her altar, I felt so much wanting to cry. I suppose the pain didn't go away.
I dreamt of Ah Fu too on Friday night, awaken by the thought of him. Another part of sadness in me I guess. It's been 2 years odd and I thought I have moved on, especially when I have been getting in and out of relationships. But I wonder, why does he still comes into my dreams.
At times when I hear sad songs, I feel like crying. I can't stand the moments being alone. It felt empty inside. I believe the above 2 subject matters contributed to this. Even if I'm getting close with Mr K right now, it just felt that it's a companionship, although I'm very much trying to sought his commitment, I can't lie to myself that it just didn't felt that 'special' like the past. It's probably my problem, and probably it's good that Mr K is not committing anything too.
Feeling empty inside and I'm trying my best to work on the outside. I am now on slimming pills which I started on 16 May 2013. For best results, it is recommended to take a continuous 2 months, though I have skipped quite a few days as I forgot to bring them back from the work place. Looking at exercises too, hopefully I don't get too lazy on this part. LOL! Other than that, I'm working on my face too, more frequent facials are booked, Hada Labo products are used, more time are put aside for the application of the required products. Look forward to a better outline :)
Work wise - I'm still feeling that I'm not up to it, a lot of rushing and last minute work. Rushing is definitely a part of A&P but definitely not last minute. Let's try to work on this part. I felt that I have over-estimate myself over this job and has under-estimated this job when I decided to take it on. No matter what, it is now ongoing, let's try to work on it instead of keep complaining. Being in an one-man show, I will need to self motivate more, be more self-disciplined and giving myself constant reminder that I have to pull a good show at Anchorpoint. This will be the stepping stone for my career. Be it moving toward Centre Leasing, Centre Management or further prospect in Marketing.
There are a lot of things I'm looking forward to achieve - Degree in Marketing and Management, learn swimming, learn scuba diving, extract my wisdom tooth. Well, some of them doesn't seem too difficult like extraction of wisdom tooth, what's holding me back?! I'm just thinking of managing my work first and then, I can have some free time for the 5 days MC upon wisdom tooth extraction surgery ;)
Highlights for myself is required in this 7 days a week working life, so Mr K and I visited S.E.A Aquarium on 23 May 2013! It's a nice place! But it kept reminding me of Ah Fu and the Hong Kong Ocean Park trip we went. Maybe this is the reason why I dreamt of him. He would have loved the trip too.
Highlight for June will be a Phuket trip with Lover - 4D3N at Sea Pearl Villas. Excited over it but at the same time, worry. 2 ladies on a first time Phuket trip and Thailand looks so beautiful from the outside yet dangerous in the inside. Let's keep our fingers crossed and be alert at all times.
Highlight for July will be The Phantom of the Opera show on 25 July 2013. I missed it the last round and once I heard they are coming back, I booked the seats almost immediately after it is opened for public sales on SISTIC. Going with the person who I'm supposed to go with last time. It is much like ending the cycle or wait since the past. Not sure if you understand.
Highlight for August - Nothing yet, as least there's a continuous 2 days PH.
Highlight for September - Mingni's wedding!! I'm already excited now! I have already applied leave for the day after! I'm all prepared for an all-out fun-filled day ;) Mingni, please don't stop any idea of mine for the gate-crashing. The games are all with meaning and don't worry about the concoction, it's definitely gonna be something healthy and harmless ;) I won't want the brothers to be excused from any chores because they need to go to the toilet ;))
hazel, with love~
It's nearing the end of May and here I am again. This month started off with an unfortunate event and sadness was brought upon our family - The demise of our Grandmother. 3 weeks has passed and it seems like life has went back on track, yet yesterday, at the praying to my Grandmother for her third seven-days, I felt an immense sadness when praying. Looking at her altar, I felt so much wanting to cry. I suppose the pain didn't go away.
I dreamt of Ah Fu too on Friday night, awaken by the thought of him. Another part of sadness in me I guess. It's been 2 years odd and I thought I have moved on, especially when I have been getting in and out of relationships. But I wonder, why does he still comes into my dreams.
At times when I hear sad songs, I feel like crying. I can't stand the moments being alone. It felt empty inside. I believe the above 2 subject matters contributed to this. Even if I'm getting close with Mr K right now, it just felt that it's a companionship, although I'm very much trying to sought his commitment, I can't lie to myself that it just didn't felt that 'special' like the past. It's probably my problem, and probably it's good that Mr K is not committing anything too.
Feeling empty inside and I'm trying my best to work on the outside. I am now on slimming pills which I started on 16 May 2013. For best results, it is recommended to take a continuous 2 months, though I have skipped quite a few days as I forgot to bring them back from the work place. Looking at exercises too, hopefully I don't get too lazy on this part. LOL! Other than that, I'm working on my face too, more frequent facials are booked, Hada Labo products are used, more time are put aside for the application of the required products. Look forward to a better outline :)
Work wise - I'm still feeling that I'm not up to it, a lot of rushing and last minute work. Rushing is definitely a part of A&P but definitely not last minute. Let's try to work on this part. I felt that I have over-estimate myself over this job and has under-estimated this job when I decided to take it on. No matter what, it is now ongoing, let's try to work on it instead of keep complaining. Being in an one-man show, I will need to self motivate more, be more self-disciplined and giving myself constant reminder that I have to pull a good show at Anchorpoint. This will be the stepping stone for my career. Be it moving toward Centre Leasing, Centre Management or further prospect in Marketing.
There are a lot of things I'm looking forward to achieve - Degree in Marketing and Management, learn swimming, learn scuba diving, extract my wisdom tooth. Well, some of them doesn't seem too difficult like extraction of wisdom tooth, what's holding me back?! I'm just thinking of managing my work first and then, I can have some free time for the 5 days MC upon wisdom tooth extraction surgery ;)
Highlights for myself is required in this 7 days a week working life, so Mr K and I visited S.E.A Aquarium on 23 May 2013! It's a nice place! But it kept reminding me of Ah Fu and the Hong Kong Ocean Park trip we went. Maybe this is the reason why I dreamt of him. He would have loved the trip too.
Highlight for June will be a Phuket trip with Lover - 4D3N at Sea Pearl Villas. Excited over it but at the same time, worry. 2 ladies on a first time Phuket trip and Thailand looks so beautiful from the outside yet dangerous in the inside. Let's keep our fingers crossed and be alert at all times.
Highlight for July will be The Phantom of the Opera show on 25 July 2013. I missed it the last round and once I heard they are coming back, I booked the seats almost immediately after it is opened for public sales on SISTIC. Going with the person who I'm supposed to go with last time. It is much like ending the cycle or wait since the past. Not sure if you understand.
Highlight for August - Nothing yet, as least there's a continuous 2 days PH.
Highlight for September - Mingni's wedding!! I'm already excited now! I have already applied leave for the day after! I'm all prepared for an all-out fun-filled day ;) Mingni, please don't stop any idea of mine for the gate-crashing. The games are all with meaning and don't worry about the concoction, it's definitely gonna be something healthy and harmless ;) I won't want the brothers to be excused from any chores because they need to go to the toilet ;))
hazel, with love~
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
You ~
You, you, you, you!
你是故意的吧？还是找个替身？还是真的跟她一起了？你忘了你还有个家吗？
是我自己放手，因为不应该继续。控制着自己，应该已经完毕，但看到你还跟别人继续着，就是不舒服。
你疯了吗？还是我傻？
你是故意的吧？还是找个替身？还是真的跟她一起了？你忘了你还有个家吗？
是我自己放手，因为不应该继续。控制着自己，应该已经完毕，但看到你还跟别人继续着，就是不舒服。
你疯了吗？还是我傻？
Sunday, May 5, 2013
5 May 2013.
The moment of sadness is over and the moment of courage creeps in to brace the fact. Similar to what you have been through, the moment of suffering is over and the sense of relief took over. I know you will be well taken care of and you will move on to what should be.
The hand that writes all stories will compose a great one for you. Thank you for all your effort, your hard work and your bravery to go through that surgery which allows us to see you more than that very one chance. For your great grand children to be able to at least have seen you.
Forgive us for all the rebellious times and the pain we put you through, even the tough decision to prolong your life. I know it has been a tough period for you.
You were a strong person and we will be too. We will miss you but we will let you go, to let you find true peace.
To my dearest grandma.
The hand that writes all stories will compose a great one for you. Thank you for all your effort, your hard work and your bravery to go through that surgery which allows us to see you more than that very one chance. For your great grand children to be able to at least have seen you.
Forgive us for all the rebellious times and the pain we put you through, even the tough decision to prolong your life. I know it has been a tough period for you.
You were a strong person and we will be too. We will miss you but we will let you go, to let you find true peace.
To my dearest grandma.
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