Look back at the things that was bothering me in the past weeks or even years:-
1. Relationships
2. Work
1. Relationships
It's been 3 years and yea, the time to go loose is over. Have stopped contacting flings and avoid meeting them. Got entangled with Sam again after so many years. And yet, I placed myself in the same position I had with ah fu.
2. Work
I have placed myself in a war situation with boss just because of a tender. I truly knows that I'm unhappy working here. Too much micro management and the boss himself doesn't know what he's doing. So that means he can't teach us much = no room to grow.
This trip to Krabi gives me lots of time to think. And also, it reminded me the simple-ness of life. Why did we get all complicated and sophisticated in the town. Sacrificing ourselves for the necessity. We have all the luxury but we are not satisfied and happy deep down.
Too much time for the HD movie that Baan Dinlamun offers too. Romance movies... And it's similar to what I have told Sam before. I do not want to be involved in a triangular relationship again. If you want me, fight for me. Clear yourself of all the shit and comes to me. Simple said than done. I can't help but will want to turn to him for everything. But I know he's not fighting at all, he answered to my question of "If you have to make a decision between her and me, who would you choose?". His reply "to choose, definitely it's you, but I don't think I can put into action." Just for your info, romance movies that I watched was "Letters to Juliet" and "Friends with Benefits"
In terms of work, should I still continue working there? Fear, of the income portion, and inability to stay long in this place, makes me wanna stay on. But is that supposed to be the real reason? Shall I just continue to "ding-dong" at this place? It's giving me headaches. To this portion, no conclusion yet. No thoughts too. Unless fairy god mother is so kind for me to be headhunted, otherwise, how do I find the courage to move on?
hazel, with love~
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